Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
