she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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