At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
