Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I don't want my vagina anymore.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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