now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
