this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
