Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
