if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
