no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
