Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
