How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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