I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
