Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
