Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
