i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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