Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
