So drunk its hurt
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
