I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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