she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
