don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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