I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i think im in europe. pls send help
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
