We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
