By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just found a bag of teeth...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
