Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
