Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
