he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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