All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
