She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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