so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
A bitchslap is in order.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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