I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I have fence marks all over my body
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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