this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
