Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The uberlube is also flammable
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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