New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
