remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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