the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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