i was rollin on her like bob the builder
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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