win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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