You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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