My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm both gender and math confused
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
