i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
