Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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