dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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