so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
