Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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