She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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