So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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