Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
