After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
