My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
