I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
