well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
